Remembering What Was
by Holdin4Hope
Summary: Even when it seemed like no one else did, Brooke remembered everything. But, she only allowed herself to when she thought no one was looking...My take on Brooke's thoughts throughout the season.
1. Wish You Were

Okay, so I wrote this mainly out of my frustration over the lack of respect that I feel the Brucas relationship has been getting this season. This takes place at the end of episode 509, For Tonight You're Only Here to Know.

Disclaimer: I do not own One Tree Hill or the song, "Wish You Were Here," by Kate Voegele ("Mia")

* * *

As she lay in bed that night, she couldn't shake the words of the song Mia had plated for them earlier that night. She sat in that library and watched as Peyton and Lindsay ripped one another apart, only for Peyton to finally push Lindsay to her breaking point. But, as Brooke sat there listening to the things that they were saying-even screaming-to one another, emotions and feelings that she had been trying so hard to ignore, had finally made their way to the surface. And now, here she was, hours later, consumed by all of these thoughts.

_"Or even my good friend, Brooke."_

Why had Haley even said that? It had become clear that, here lately, no one thought of Brooke and Lucas' relationship. She was simply one of the insignificant romances you have during high school while you are waiting for "the one." And, obviously, Peyton had been "the one" for him. He wrote and entire book about her and their journey and his love for her. Even the editor of his book, his fiancé, had been rooting for the Peyton and Lucas from the book to make it. But, those days had passed, and here they were years later, and Lindsay had become "the one" for Lucas.

No one ever mentioned Brooke. They never mentioned how he said he was the guy for her; how he said he would fight for her; or, how he said he would save her from it all. It was as thought everyone forgot Lucas and Brooke were ever even together.

_Gone away are the golden days_

_Just a page in my diary_

_So here I am, a utopian citizen_

_Still convinced, there's no such thing as idealism_

But Brooke remembered. She remembered everything. Sometimes she remembered it all a little too clearly. Sometimes she remembered it all a little too often. But, mostly she remembered when no one was watching.

So, here she was, hours later, when she was sure that Peyton had gone to sleep, allowing herself to remember. She never knew where to start, and it didn't really matter, it always ended the same.

_Memories they're following me like a shadow now_

_And I'm dreaming_

_Cause I've already suffered the fever of disbelief_

She would allow herself to remember a happy time in their relationship, whether it was the night he took her to the River Court to introduce her to "his world" as he called it; or the weekend at Rachel's cabin. Thinking of that weekend always made her feel good, they had really connected that weekend. She had even learned to laugh at the "Brooke-ing herself" comments that were made. She liked to think there was a point in time when she was "the one" for him. Otherwise, how could they have had such good times, right?

That was when the tears fell. Here she was Brooke Davis, famous, business owner, incredibly talented, and successful. When someone asked, she always told them that Clothes over Bro's had been her dream come true. And it was. But the thing she never told anyone, the thing she kept locked up inside her heart, was that it was not her only dream. Nor was it even her most important dream.

_I've seen your act_

_And I know all the facts_

_I'm still in love with who I wish you were_

_It __ain't__ hard to see_

_Who you are underneath_

_I'm still in love with who I wish you were_

_And I wish you were here_

Lucas Scott. That name still meant the world to her. That name still gave her goose bumps. That name still kept her up at night. Most importantly, that name was that of the one boy she would have given everything up for.

Brooke's relationship with Lucas had been a brand new experience for her. She had never looked at any other guy like she looked at Lucas, and she certainly hadn't felt for any other guy what she felt for Lucas. The peacefulness and the safety that she would feel while wrapped in his arms was indescribable for her.

_I was true as the sky is blue_

_But I couldn't soon say the same for you_

_So now I find denial in my eyes_

_I'm mesmerized by the picture that's in my mind_

Oh how right Mia had been with that song. As much as she enjoyed remembering the good times, no great times, with Lucas, she always remembered the heartache too. And now, years later, she was still hurting inside just like it was yesterday. Only now, the hurting was because she remembered everything and her friends all seemed to remember nothing.

_Tell me when I'll finally see your shallow heart_

_For what it is_

_Cause I don't want to keep on believing in illusions_

She liked Lindsay, she really did. But the selfish part in her wanted to hate her. Truth be told, she wanted to be Lindsay. Not because she didn't like being Brooke Davis, but because if Lucas Scott was going to marry someone other than Peyton Sawyer she wanted it to be her. She had given up Lucas all those years ago because she thought he and Peyton were destined to be together and she was just slowing the inevitable. She knew he was going to break her heart when he realized it, so he had broken it for him. But, as Brooke had come to find, it all hurts the same, no matter who does it.

She knew she was having crazy thoughts now. She didn't want to be Lindsay. She wanted to be Brooke Davis and she knew that. She just wanted to be Brooke Davis, the love of Lucas Scott's life.

_Sometimes I can't explain_

_And I'm so sorry that I can't_

_I'll try to concentrate_

_On your true identity_

More tears. She didn't know how long had passed, but if the sun beginning to creep through the blinds was any indication, it had been hours. This was not the first night she had spent like this and she knew that it would not be the last. The fact that no one else seemed to remember was starting to take its toll on her and she was afraid she would have many more nights like this, in the very near future.

_I've seen your act_

_And I know all the facts_

_I'm still in love with who I wish you were_

_It __ain't__ hard to see_

_Who you are underneath_

_I'm still in love with who I wish you were_

_And I wish you were here_

_'Oh Broody, Pretty Girl sure wishes you were here,'_ she thought as she wiped away the last tear she was allowing to fall for now. She decided there was no sense in falling asleep now, she would have to be at work soon.

So, just like that, she got up and headed for the bathroom to ready herself for a new day. Determined, that when she came out, she would be the Brooke Davis that everyone knew and expected. She would be the Brooke Davis with the dimpled smile and the bubbly personality. She would be the Brooke Davis with the wedding fashion for Lindsay, the obedient child for Victoria, the match maker for Mouth, the babysitter for Nathan and Haley, the middle-man for Lucas with regard to Peyton and Lindsay's 'relationship,' and the shoulder for Peyton to cry on.

Maybe tonight, when no one was watching, she would allow herself to be Brooke Davis, broken-hearted over the one boy she could never have but would have given everything up for.

* * *

Well, what did you think?

Hopefully some of you liked it. Please leave a review, whether good or bad. This is just my second story to post, so I am still a little nervous about putting my work out there for people to read and criticize. I would like to turn this into a story, but there are some really amazing Brucas stories by some very talented writers that I am not sure I could make this live up to such a high standard! Your thoughts and suggestions are welcome though!

Kelli


	2. It Ends Tonight

Thanks to everyone who reviewed this!! My **deepest** apologies for not updating this sooner, Its just been hard to find motivation with the way things have been going lately.

I am not sure if this is best as a 2nd chapter to this story or if it's better as a one-shot. I would love to hear what you think, good or bad! Thanks again to everyone who has reviewed this story, you'll never know how much it means to me!

-Kelli

* * *

'And I thought New York was full of drama,' she thought to herself as she looked around her now fully furnished baby-ready home. With the running brides, deceitful nannies, horrible mothers, and murderers walking freely, she was quite certain she was not around this much drama back in New York. Sure, New York had its own drama, but her drama there was always work related and she had learned to handle just about anything that threw at her. But, here, in Tree Hill, always meant drama, but it always meant personal dram. And, that, was the drama that she hated. That was the drama that kept her awake at night.

Lately there had been many sleepless nights spent in this house. From consoling Peyton and trying to convince her that drowning her sorrows in bottles of alcohol was not the best way to deal with what she was going though, to reassuring Haley that Jamie would be ok if he was just in the next room playing with his toys and that yes, OF COURSE, Nathan still loved her and found her irresistible. Not to mention she had her own personal demons that she's been struggling with.

She'd only had a handful of nights where she had lay in bed thinking of Lucas and their relationship. Everyone had been so busy consoling Peyton that no one had even noticed Brooke's silent struggle with Lucas. And, for that she was thankful. She did not want to make things harder for Peyton than they already were. One dreaded triangle involving her in high school was enough to last her a lifetime.

_Your subtleties_

_They strangle me_

_I can't explain myself at all_

_And all it wants_

_And all it needs_

_All I don't want to need at all_

Then there was this afternoon. The rush, the excitement, and the pure joy she had felt after the phone call had left her completely speechless at this wonderful opportunity that was being handed to her. She had even gone overboard buying cute things for the little girl. Of course, Haley and Peyton had been there to pull her back down to reality and help her truly get ready for the little girl. Haley had even been wonderful enough to let her use Jamie's old things.

Next had come the thoughts of being in over her head and not being prepared for what was happening. Owen running off, Chase stopping by, Lucas coming over, none of it had really helped to settle her nerves about the situation. Of course Lucas had come and given great words to encourage her. And, yes, they had helped. He always helped. She was amazed at the fact that after all these years and everything they had been through, he could still always manage to say just the right thing to her.

However, as she sat in her living room that night looking around, she knew there was one more thing she needed to do before this little girl got here tomorrow. It was something she had wanted to do for a while now, but just hadn't found the courage to do yet. This little girl was going to need all of her love and attention and she intended to give it to her. But, in order to do that, in order to give this girl all of her heart, she needed to talk to the one boy that has occupied her heart for as long as she can remember.

_The walls start breathing_

_My minds unweaving_

_Maybe it's best you leave me alone_

So she had called Lucas. She could tell that she woke him and she was sorry for that, but she knew he would still come without hesitation. 'He always had a thing for saving people,' she chuckled to herself.

As she sat in her living room with a glass of wine she had yet to touch, she was nervous about seeing him. Nervous about all the things she needed to say, and nervous about the timing of it all. The last thing she wanted to do was make things harder on him, but she needed to do this. She only hoped he could understand and not hate her for it. She was going to need all the help she could get over the next few months, his included. She didn't want to lose him as a friend and as a part of her life, but she needed to have this conversation with him.

She heard him knock softly then allow himself in. He smiled at her when he saw her curled up on the sofa in a pair of sweatpants and t-shirt with her hair pulled back in a loose ponytail clutching the small purple monkey that had spoke of earlier that day.

"My book needs editing you know."

She looked up at him quizzically, assuming he meant his latest about the Comet.

"…In the 6 years I had know her, she had grown more than anyone I'd ever met…That's still true, and it's still you. You never cease to amaze me with what you are capable of. The world still doesn't stand a chance. And this little girl coming tomorrow, well, she is going to know that you love her no matter what happens. You are going to be great Brooke." As he said this he took a seat next to her and pulled her close to him allowing her head to rest on his chest.

"Where was that speech this afternoon when you told me it was a little too late to be freaking out?" she laughed, enjoying the moment of being is his arms once more. After what she had to say to him, she didn't know if this would happen again for a while. However, she knew that if she didn't sit up and say what she needed to say, she never would. So, she slowly sat up and turned to face him, pulling her feat underneath her.

He smiled at her and opened his mouth to say something but she cut him off before he could.

"I know you think I called you tonight because I am still freaking out about tomorrow, and I am still freaking out, yes, but that's not why I called you," she managed to say all in one breath.

He knew that tone. He knew that when she spoke like that not to interrupt her for fear of not allowing her to say what she needed to say. So he leaned back into the sofa in silence staring at this beautiful girl he loved in front of him waiting for her to continue.

When she spoke again, it was much softer. "Remember the night of Nathan and Haley's wedding? The night I told you I was holding onto you for all the wrong reasons and night I told you I stopped missing you?" she paused briefly. "That was also the night that I told you I loved you and that I always would. And I meant it. I will. I do." She hesitated before continuing, wanting to get the wording right so that he understood.

Her eyes met his and she could see the confusion in his eyes. She was certain he had no idea where she was going with what she was saying. "When I came back to Tree Hill it was me coming home. And it felt 

wonderful and awful at the same time. Wonderful because it's home and it's where my family is, "she smiled looking at a picture of her and Jamie, "and awful because of all the bad memories this place holds. In New York it was easy to drown myself in the company and the lifestyle that New York brings with it. It was easy to not have to remember. I could never forget, and I don't want to. These memories and all the things that happened here, those are what make me…well, those are what make me, me." She laughed lightly.

It was at this point she stopped. She knew once she continued there was no going back. So she made sure she had her focus and looked up and met his eyes. "You loved me once didn't you?"

_A weight is lifted_

_On this evening_

_I give the final blow_

She didn't want a response; she just needed to ask it. Looking into his eyes she could tell that he was more confused than ever. Eyes squinted, lines on his forehead and all, Broody couldn't figure out where she was headed and what she was trying to say to him.

"You were the only person who ever made me question myself this much. You were the only person who brought out all the insecurities that Brooke Davis had perfected hiding from the world. That's got to mean something right?" she continued. "I know you think I just asked you an off the wall question, but I have to say, since returning to Tree Hill I've had to wonder. Everyone here is so sure that Peyton is this wonderful love of your life. And, maybe she is. But, it's like no one remembers that you and I were once and "us." And it's fine if we didn't mean as much as you and Peyton, but we meant something right? I mean, how could we not? After everything we'd been through, we were important right?"

_When darkness turns to light_

_It ends tonight_

_It ends tonight_

_Just a little insight will make this right_

_It's too late to fight_

_It ends tonight_

_It ends tonight_

That was when the first tear fell. 'Crap, that better be the only one,' she thought to herself as she let it fall hoping Lucas wouldn't notice.

He remained silent for which she was thankful, so she went on. "But I realized something this afternoon after you left. There is someone else that has made me question myself, someone else who is bringing out all the insecurities I have perfected hiding. This little girl coming tomorrow. I don't even know her yet and already she has made me question my ability and everything about me and what I want. And I owe it to her, and to myself, to focus everything I have on her. And that's why I called you over here tonight."

_A falling star_

_Least I fall alone_

_I can't explain what you can't explain_

_You're finding things that you didn't know_

She could tell by the puzzled look on his face he was still confused. He opened his mouth, surely he was about to ask what she meant by that, but she put her hands up silently begging that he not interrupt her yet. There was more she needed to say before she allowed him to respond.

"I love you Luke, I do. And I always will…Don't worry I am not trying to turn your current love triangle into a square," she laughed while winking at him. To her surprise, he actually smiled back at her. "And I know you are wondering why that makes me call you over in the middle of the night, especially when you already have so much going on. I am sorry for my timing, Luke, I am. But there is a little girl coming for me tomorrow and I need for you to do for me what you promised me all those years ago. Luke, you promised to save me." No point in hiding the tears now, they were falling much too fast for that.

"I need for you to save me. I need for you to tell me that what you and I had was real. I need for you to tell me that we mattered and that we were special at one time. Because all of these feelings I have felt for you all these years, if it's not love, then I don't know what love is. If it's not love, then I will never make it with this little girl coming tomorrow. You've met Victoria, you know what I grew up like. But all that time with you and everything we went through, all the happiness you made me feel, I was certain that was love." She paused to regain her composure, afraid she was starting to ramble.

"But then I come home and no one else even remembers that you and I went out. So that makes me question it, and that makes me question my ability to love. And if I can't love then there is no need in me even going to the airport tomorrow," she choked out. Wiping her face, she looked up and met his stare. "If you tell me that what we had was real and that what we had mattered, then I'll know I'm going to be okay. I'll know that everything I know as love really is love. And that all these feelings I have for a little girl I've never even met are in fact feelings of love. And I'll be okay."

_The walls start breathing_

_My minds unweaving_

_Maybe it's best you leave me alone_

_A weight it lifted_

_On this evening_

_I give the final blow_

"I can't believe I got all that out," she sighed as she wiped her face, again. She was always vulnerable when it came to Lucas and that scared and comforted her all at the same time. She knew she had just dumped a lot on him and she only hoped that he could forgive her for it. She knew that now really wasn't the time to question their relationship, but she couldn't help it. There was a little girl coming tomorrow that deserved the best of her and she intended to give her just that. She just needed to get all this out once and for all before she left for the airport in the morning.

There was silence between them now. As she sat there playing with the purple monkey in her hands, she struggled to read his face. So, as she waited for his reaction she said a silent prayer that she had not just made things worse for him and hoping he could understand why she needed to ask.

_All these thoughts locked inside_

_Now you're the first to know_

"I still have them you know." He spoke, breaking into her thoughts as she tucked her feet further underneath her. She looked at him not sure what he was referring to. "All of them. All 82 of them." And that's when she knew what he was talking about. The letters. Her letters.

"And I've never wanted to get rid of them. I've moved them, yes, but never forgotten about them and never gotten rid of them. And I meant what I said to you on the beach that night. I'm the guy for you Brooke Davis. I'm the guy that showed you how to love," he paused to turn her chin so she was looking him in the eyes, "and I'm the guy that loved you back." With that, he pulled her next to him and hugged her as close as he could. As she rested in his arms he could feel the warm tears wetting his shirt.

"I love you too, and I always will. I will be here to help with whatever you need. Nothing you have said tonight changes that. So, please, stop worrying. You already love this little girl more than anyone could have expected you to and you haven't even met her yet. You're going to do great, Brooke. You're going to change the world for this little girl."

_When darkness turns to light_

_It ends tonight_

_It ends tonight_

And that was when she let out the breath she forgot she'd been holding. That was when she knew that everything would be okay. Lucas Scott was still the one boy she would have given everything up for. But, Lucas Scott was also the one boy who would never let her give up anything she deserved.


	3. All Around Me

So I had major motivation issues when it came to writing this chapter. I just couldn't get it right. I hope that you all feel this chapter does this story justice. As much as I would love to continue this story, I think this is a good place to end it. Thanks to all of you who have left me a wonderful review, please let me know what you think of this as well.

I don't own One Tree Hill or the song used, "All Around Me" by Flyleaf

* * *

_I can feel you all around me_

_Thickening the air I'm breathing_

_Holding on to what I'm feeling_

_Savoring this heart that's healing_

"_Hey, it's me. I've got two tickets to Vegas. You want to get married tonight?"_

She can still remember exactly how his voice sounded when he asked that question. The slight pause before asking about getting married, and the way he exhaled slowly waiting for her response. And, of course, she can remember how her hands and knees started shaking uncontrollably when he asked.

She had waited her whole life for someone to ask her that question. And it felt like she had waited even longer to hear those words from him. She remembered holding her breath and forcing herself to count to ten to keep from saying the first thing that had come to mind…Which had been, of course, to scream "YES!!" at the top of her lungs.

She had taken a deep breath and tried to steady her voice as much as possible before responding. _"Luke, you can't mean that. You don't mean that." _She'd whispered that part, afraid saying it too loudly would cause the tears to start. She inhaled and started again, _"You are hurting over everything that has happened to you lately and you are reaching out anywhere that is comfortable. You've been a great help with Angie and you've been there for me, so instead of dealing with everything going on, you've gotten comfortable with me…again."_ She had lost a tear when she said that. Wiping it quickly, she continued, _"As much as I don't want to be responsible for more pain to you, I can't say yes to you just so you don't have to face everything else." _That had been the best response she could come up with given the spontaneity of the question. Although she had almost tried to talk so softly that he wouldn't hear.

"_No, Brooke, you're wrong. I love you. And, I know that you love me too. All this time spent together here lately had just made me realize what I have been missing with you. I have always been able to count on you, even when I didn't deserve it. You give your whole heart to the people you love and care about, and I just want to be that guy that does the same for you."_ That had been his come back. She had to fight even harder not to breakdown at his words. He always had a way of getting to her. He had even come at her with his infamous "that guy" remark. She had almost fallen onto the floor in a heap of tears right there in the middle of her hallway.

"_I do love you, Luke. I really do. I love you more than I should and I love you more than I admit to. But that's exactly why I can't let you do this to your life. You need to deal with everything that has happened to you. Lindsay, Peyton, your mom and Lily leaving again, Dan's heart condition, your suspension from games, everything, Luke, everything; you have to face everything that is happening to you and around you."_ She had almost hung up right then, she heard him exhale deeply signaling defeat. She was somewhat satisfied that she had gotten through to him. He started mumbling something along the lines of "thank you" and "I really do love you, Brooke" and something about not holding anything against him. She doesn't really remember exactly what he was saying, but she remembered exactly what she interrupted him to say.

"_Hey Luke," _she'd paused there, making sure he stopped talking before she continued, _"when you sort through and face everything and you begin to feel and act like the Lucas Scott that I know and love, do something for me please. Look into your heart and decide what it is that you want. Not what everybody expects you to want Luke, but what you want, whatever that may be. But when you figure out what it is that Lucas Scott wants you let me know." _She'd paused briefly knowing there was no going back if she continued. _"And I promise you right here and right now, if it's me inside your heart I will marry you right then. But it won't be in Vegas by some wannabe Elvis, I'll want it done right with all our friends and family as witnesses. Because if it's me inside your heart, that will finally mean that you love and want me the way I do you and I'll want everyone we know to see it."_ That had been when she'd hung up on him and collapsed right there in her hallway crying. And that had been exactly where Peyton had found her almost four hour later. Of course, Peyton had attributed the red swollen eyes to Angie returning home. Maybe Brooke had cried some for Angie, but Angie had not been the cause of her current appearance.

Sometime while Brooke was curled up on the floor she had been notified that Angie made it home to her parents safely. Strangely enough though, that had brought no tears. She had a strange feeling of satisfaction over what she'd done for the little girl, and for what the little girl had done for her. Angie had helped to put Brooke's life in perspective and made her realize exactly what she did want out of her life. Of course she missed Angie terribly and the house certainly felt empty without her, but Brooke knew that Angie was back where she belonged. That's when the tears had started again. These tears had been for Lucas and for what she wanted with him. And more tears followed those because there was no one she could talk to about it. She couldn't talk to Peyton, she was still dealing with her own missed Lucas marriage and the "I hate you" she had received. And recently Haley had made it her mission to help Peyton and to try to make Lucas realize he loved Peyton. And of course, Nathan had to agree with whatever Haley wanted. So she'd wiped her face, taken a shower, and come out with the plastered fake smile and was the Brooke Davis that everyone always expected.

Yet almost two weeks later she had still been desperately trying to believe that eventually things would return to normal. She could go back to loving Lucas when no one was looking, and being the famous Brooke Davis for everyone else. She had thrown herself into work hoping that would help her forget about that night, but to her dismay, she could still hear him talking like it just happened. She had managed to get a lot of work done though; she had forgotten how busy running your won company could be! But she still knew that phone call had been the last time she had even talked to the blonde-haired blue-eyed brooder. So much for not letting that change anything about their friendship.

Of course the lack of communication had not been for lack of effort on his part. In fact he had called constantly over the first couple of days but all she could do was cry when she saw his name flashing on the screen. Then, she would delete any voicemail or text messages that he would leave without listening or reading them first. She knew the only reason he was calling was to apologize for acting on impulse when he called her. And he would want to make sure their friendship was still good, right? At least that's the reason she kept telling herself he was trying so hard.

After those first few days the calls and texts slowed. They still came, but not with the persistent tone of those first days. Slowly she began opening the texts he sent, never responding, but at least reading them. That was a step in the right direction, right? She knew she had been no where ready to start answering the phone when he called, but she had to face it sometime.

The texts and phone calls had then started coming at 3 each a day, always at the same times each day. The first call would come in the morning, followed by a text that read "Good Morning." The next would always come right about the time Brooke was closing the store and preparing to head home, the accompanying text reading "Quittin time." And the final would always come sometime late at night with the text reading "Goodnight Pretty Girl." That one had made her cry the first time he sent it. Him calling her that had flooded her mind with memories from their past. She was almost able to smile at it now though. To her, it seemed as though that was his way of telling her he was okay and making it through each day. She was working on the courage to respond, but she hadn't gotten there yet. She could still feel the sting in her eyes when he called, and she couldn't answer until she knew she wouldn't cry at the sound of his voice. She had a long way to go.

Brooke had heard through both Haley and Peyton that Lucas was making progress. He was trying to deal with everything and stop running from it all. He and Peyton had actually gone out a couple of nights ago. Of course, that had to be the one night Brooke had come home early, just in time to see Peyton smiling widely while she got ready. Brooke had gone straight to bed before the sun had even set. She had been surprised that night when she'd received her usual goodnight text and even more surprised to see Peyton in the kitchen with a cup of coffee sitting at the counter so early in the morning. She had just assumed that when Peyton had said she and Lucas were going out, that had meant that Lucas had finally realized what everyone else saw and he was ready to commit to Peyton. So, Brooke just figured Peyton would not be coming home anytime soon, let a lone at 7 in the morning! Needless to say Brooke had been surprised. So surprised that when she heard Peyton say she loved Jake she had dropped her own coffee cup watching it break into many tiny pieces, noting the irony of the scene since that was how her heart had felt last night thinking of Lucas and Peyton rekindling their love.

'_This must be what the Twilight Zone feels like,' _she'd thought to herself. Peyton had explained that after finally talking to Lucas about everything, it all made sense. Yes, she loved Lucas and he loved her. They always would and they would always be there for each other. But her love for Lucas was not the deep passion inside her heart that she had felt with Jake. It was comfortable with Lucas and because they loved each other and would always be there for one another, they'd let themselves fall into that routine and had simply just gotten comfortable all those years ago. While Lucas had gotten his closure and realization when Peyton had replied "Someday" to his marriage proposal, Peyton never really got closure because Lucas simply left. So she had been stuck thinking of all the" what ifs" since that day. She had made their relationship into something that it never really was, then coming home to Lucas being so cold had only clouded her feelings even more. Finally getting to talk to Lucas like adults about everything that had happened between them allowed her to put things into perspective.

So, after coming home and giving herself the biggest pep talk she could, Peyton had called Jake. Of course it had taken many tries to actually dial the complete number and then allow it to ring, but she finally did. He was doing well and Jenny was doing great. They wound up talking for hours and only ended the call because the sun had come up and Jake remembered he needed to get Jenny ready for school. Peyton had looked truly happy. So that's why three days later Peyton had jumped in the car and headed to Savannah to see Jake. They were planning to spend a couple of days together and see what happened.

Seeing Peyton that happy had almost made Brooke respond to one of the texts from Lucas, but the news she got from Haley a day or two later had stopped that from happening. Haley told Brooke that Lucas had been trying to get a hold of Lindsay for the past couple of days. That had started a whole new depression stage for Brooke. Is it possible to cry this many times over a single boy? Do I not ever learn? She'd been asking herself those questions over and over again. Haley had said it so nonchalantly like she had always expected him to go back to Lindsay, even though just days ago she was pushing him to Peyton. Man, Haley was all over the place! Ok, ok, she knew she wasn't being fair to Haley. Haley was Lucas's best friend and she wanted whatever made him happy. She and Haley weren't that different when it came to that, although the "love" they had for him was different for each of them.

Another week had passed and the texts and phone calls were still coming. It had been Nathan that had told her about Lucas taking off to New York for a couple of days. He and Jamie had come by the store so Jamie could see his Aunt Brooke. Jamie had asked if she wanted to come over and play since Uncle Lucas was out of town and Skills was busy with the basketball team. Brooke had looked at Nathan questioningly to which he simply responded that Lucas had said he had some things to take care of in New York. Fortunately for her Nathan was oblivious to the tremble in her lips as she realized what he was probably "taking care of" in New York. Neither had said anything else about it after that.

That had, of course, been another early night for Brooke. It was one thing to lose Lucas to Peyton, after all that's who she had given him up for. But, to lose him to someone else? If it was possible, she was actually starting to think that would hurt worse than him being with Peyton. If he was with Peyton then at least she would know the sacrifice she made all those years ago had been the right thing to do. How did an outsider come in and take her Broody from her? She did find it odd, though, that the texts and phone calls were still coming. She had stopped reading them again the day she found out he'd taken off to New York. She couldn't take the chance of one of them being about the realization of his feelings for Lindsay. She wasn't ready to face that fact yet.

Brooke was hanging out with Haley and Jamie a few days later only to learn Lucas had come home the night before. Without even realizing what she was saying, she'd asked Haley if a new date had been set yet. Confused, Haley asked her what she meant. Brooke had told her she figured he had been "taking care of" getting Lindsay back while he was in New York and she figured a new date for the wedding had been set.

Haley had actually laughed out loud and almost spit out the popcorn they had been snacking on. Brooke asked her why she was so amused by that, to which Haley replied that a new date for the wedding would not be set. Lucas had gone up there to sign papers on releasing the book and to re-do the dedication. He and Lindsay had talked and they both realized they had found one another at difficult times in their lives, Lucas had been dealing with the reality of his relationship with Peyton and Lindsay was trying to come to terms with her father's illness. They had both leaned on each other and let it get too carried away. Haley had simply looked at Brooke, smiled, and softly said, "Oh Brooke, when will you ever learn?"

That comment was still plaguing Brooke when she got home that night. Deciding that ice cream and a good gossip magazine were just what she needed, she changed into sweat pants and a tank top and curled up on her bed. She was determined to stop thinking about Haley's comment and to stop thinking about Lucas.

Of course the moment her phone beeped signaling she had a new text message that plan had failed. It was almost 11pm and she knew that had to be from Lucas. _'Wonder why he didn't call first like usual,'_ she thought. Against her better judgment she pressed the "Read" button on her phone, while closing her eyes. So with her eyes closed and Lucas' text displayed on her phone, she counted to ten. She made it to four before she couldn't stand it any longer and opened her eyes and looked down at her phone.

'_You asked me to do you a favor…well I did.'_

More confused than ever, she sat there staring at his words. What did they mean? Was there another message coming? She knew what she'd asked him to do, but this didn't really tell her anything. Was this his way of letting her down easy? What did he mean?? Well, that whole plan of not thinking about Lucas was really not working out!

Needless to say, sleep did not come easy for her that night. So when she heard Peyton pacing in the kitchen at almost 2am she decided to focus her attention on someone else's problems. To say she startled Peyton would have been an understatement.

"Brooke what are you doing up? Shouldn't you be sleeping?"

"Whoa, what's with all the questions, P. Sawyer? Besides, who could sleep with you wearing holes in the floor in here?"

"Oh, sorry," Peyton said as she headed out of the kitchen.

"Oh no you don't! What is going on with you?"

"Nothing, just couldn't sleep. Feeling tired now, I think I'll try to fall asleep again."

And before Brooke could protest Peyton's bedroom door had shut and he heard the click of the lock. _'Something is going on with her and Jake_,' Brooke thought.

Sleep had finally come for her that night, but only for a few hours before she was awoken by the beeping of that stupid phone. _"Maybe I should throw this one in the river, too,'_ she thought. Rolling over she looked to see the text was from Haley. Noting the time was 9am, she couldn't help but wonder why she hadn't gotten one from Lucas this morning. Maybe last night had been his final goodbye to her. Oh here we go again, how much can I worry over this boy?!

Opening Haley's text, she smiled as she read _"Heading to the River Court, Jamie would love it if his Aunt Brooke would come cheer him on!" _Now there was on Scott she could never be depressed over. Getting out of bed, she replaced the sweat pants with jeans and pulled a pink hoodie over her tank top and headed to the bathroom. After brushing her teeth and pulling her hair back, she decided to check on Peyton before she left. Finding Peyton's door open and the bed already made, she walked into the kitchen. Looking outside, she noticed Peyton's car already gone. Figuring she headed into work, Brooke grabbed her purse and keys and headed to the River Court.

When she got to the River Court she couldn't help but be surprised. It seemed like everyone she knew was there. Everyone was so busy talking they barely noticed Brooke walk up. Brooke spotted Peyton smiling at her and walked towards her. "Good to see you're feeling better this morning, what was with you last night anyway?"

"Huh? Oh it was nothing," Peyton replied. It was then Brooke noticed Jake walk up. Assuming that had been what was keeping Peyton up last night, she decided to let the two of them enjoy each other's company and she made her way over to Haley.

"This is one heck of a crowd to cheer for Jamie, Tutor-Mom!" Brooke said.

"What? Oh yeah, yeah it is. Speaking of which, I need to go find him." And with that, Haley quickly disappeared. That was when Brooke took the time to look at all the smiling people around her. She noticed Haley with Nathan and Jamie. She looked at Peyton holding hands with Jake smiling at something Jenny had said. She looked at Mouth and Millicent laughing with Junk, Fergie, and Skills. Then she noticed Karen with Andy, Lily, and Deb, all laughing with one another. She didn't even know Karen had gotten back into town. The one person, however, that she did not notice was Lucas. _"I guess that really was a goodbye last night.'_

She was about to make her way over to Karen when she heard Jamie call to her, "Aunt Brooke, come over here with me please. I want to show you something." Jamie then took her hand and led her to the center of the court.

There in the center of the court was a box. A box she immediately recognized as the one that held her 82 letters she had given Lucas. "Jamie, what is this doing out here?" Brooke asked with a shaky voice.

Jamie only looked up at her and smiled, then quickly turned and ran back to a smiling Haley. Brooke caught Peyton's eye, and Peyton just winked at her. Brooke was just about to question her when she felt two hands on her shoulders turning her around.

There she was face to face with the blond-haired blue-eyes boy that had been causing her so many ups and downs lately.

"Luke," she started with her voice barely above a whisper, "why do I get the feeling all of these people are not just here to watch Jamie play basketball?" She was speaking so softly he could hardly hear her, yet he could hear the uneasiness in her voice as she ran her fingers through her hair, now aware that everyone was watching her.

He simply smiled at her and led her to sit down, right there in the center of the court with her letters. He sat down directly across from her and took each of her hands and placed them in his own. "A few weeks ago when I was at my lowest, you saved me. You saved me from making a rash decision and not doing things properly." He paused a moment and caught her eyes that were filled with uncertainty and nervousness. He continued, "You asked me to do you a favor. You asked me to face everything that life had thrown at me and deal with all that was going on around me. So, I have taken a few weeks and I have done just that. In the process I also allowed myself to reminisce about past times and think about what my future held for me and for the people around me. You asked that once had done those things that I look into my heart and see what it held. You asked me to see who was in my heart. And you asked that when I did that to let you know. In return, you promised me something. You promised me that if it was you that was still inside my heart that you would marry me right then and there." It was at that moment that Brooke snapped back to reality and realized what was going on. Tears were falling so rapidly from her eyes she didn't bother trying to hide them. Luke laughed softly and tried to wipe her tears.

"I brought you to this very spot all those years ago and told you that it was my world. I also told you that you got to be the biggest part of my world. Little did I know how true those words were. Brooke, it's always been you. You've always been inside my heart and you've always been everywhere with me, even when we weren't talking. You never left my heart, which is why I could never bring myself to get rid of that box. I had placed you inside a box in my heart and moved you around, but never moved you out. That's the place in my heart that no one has ever been able to touch. The intensity of my feelings for you have never compared to anyone else, even though I have loved others. They've never had my whole heart like you have. So, here I am right now telling you that I love you and that even though I lost him for a few years, I am still the guy for you Brooke Davis. Will you please do me the honor of becoming Brooke Scott?" By this time he had propped himself up on knew and had opened a small velvet box. Brooke recognized the box immediately. She'd know that ring anywhere. That was the ring that Keith had given Karen just before he was taken from her.

She looked over at Karen and saw the woman she had come to love as a mother smiling proudly with tears falling down her face holding Lily tightly. Karen gave Brooke a small nod and Brooke looked back at Lucas.

Brooke took a deep breath and tried to take in as much about this moment as she could, knowing she would want to remember it forever. She had dreamt of it for longer than she would admit to, but nothing compared to how she was actually feeling while it was happening.

It was then that she broke out into the widest smile, dimples and all, and jumped into Lucas' arms. Her lips found his and she was certain she had never felt more alive than she did when his lips touched hers. When the kiss was broken because of the need for air, they both just stood there in each others arms, not caring about how much time had passed or that everyone was staring.

Finally, Lucas spoke up, "Brooke, I know I have a knack for saying the wrong things to you and I really don't want to ruin this moment, but is that a yes?" He asked with hopeful eyes.

"Oh, Broody, of course it's a yes. A promise is a promise. It's a YES!!" she screamed laughing. "Yes, Lucas Scott I will marry you!" She said as he slid the ring on her finger. Their lips met again but before things could escalate the cheers and laughter from all their friends and family broke them apart. Everyone was hugging everyone and congratulating the couple that had finally found their way back to one another.

All at once it dawned on Brooke just exactly what she had promised Luke that night and panic set in right about the time Peyton and Haley made their way over to Brooke. "Hey Brooke, what's that look for? Shouldn't you be jumping up and down talking about planning your wedding? You live for weddings!" Peyton had said.

"Peyt, you don't understand. That night on the phone I told Lucas that I would marry him right then if it was me inside his heart. But, I told him I didn't want it to be done by some wannabe Elvis. I would want it done right. I told him I would want it done in front of all our friends and family so they could be there for us. That's why all of you are here isn't it? There's a minister hiding around here somewhere isn't there? Tutor-Mom, you could have given me a little warning so I wouldn't have shown up in jeans and a sweatshirt! I love Lucas and I want to marry him, but think about my wedding pictures! I am in jeans and my hair is a mess and I have no makeup on, at least I did remember to brush my teeth! And Lucas, well he's Lucas, he always looks good! Ugh! I am supposed to be happy right now, but these pictures are going to be around forever! What do I tell our kids one day when they ask about the pict-"

"Whoa, breath Brooke, breath. You are stressing me out!" Peyton said laughing.

"Peyton, I love you and all, but please stop laughing at me. This is serious! Imagine the magazine headings when the paparazzi catch wind of this!" Brooke let out all in one breath.

This only made Peyton and Haley laugh harder. "Hey Lucas, can you come here for a sec?" Peyton called.

"What's up?" he asked walking over, still smiling. He had a feeling this was coming, he was trying not to laugh at Brooke considering that would only worsen her current stress level.

"Well, your new fiancé here thinks that she is about to get married in jeans and sweatshirt. So needless to say she is panicking. Although, that's an understatement!" Peyton said smiling.

"Oh, Pretty Girl, come here," he said while taking her in his arms. "I know you better than that. I have everybody out here because I wanted you to see how serious I am about you and about us. You said you wanted everyone to be here when I realized I love you the way you love me."

"I know I did, but-" Brooke started, but Lucas simply placed one finger on her lips and smiled.

"You are Brooke Davis. Queen of All Things Party. I may be clueless sometimes but this I do know. I know that you wedding, our wedding, should be the biggest party ever. This is not a wedding, unless of course you really want it to be. Which, judging by your current state, I think it's safe to say you don't," he said laughing. "Look, just think of this as an Engagement Party. I will leave the wedding up to you, although I am ok with a wannabe Elvis if you want. As long as you are the bride and I am the groom. I just thought you might want all your friends and family around for this moment."

Brooke let out the breath she didn't realize she was holding and smiled. "You're not totally clueless Broody," she said while winking at him. Everyone around them just laughed, noticing how nice it was to have the Cheery Bubbly Brooke back. They all went back to congratulating and hugging one another.

Who knew one phone call and one favor would change so much? He may have written that she would change the world someday, but he would never realize how much he had changed hers. And, for that, she would forever be grateful.

_Take my hand _

_I give it to you_

_Now you own me, all I am_

_You said you would never leave me_

_I believe you_

_I believe…_

* * *

Good? Bad? I would love to hear what you think.

Thanks again to all that took the time to read this (and review).

-Kelli


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